GET THE FUCK OUT!!
Im so fucking sick of people criticizing everything i do. im done trying to fit in everyone’s box enough is enough. i dont beg you to be in my life so if you dont wanna be go, get the fuck out! as of today i dont care if people like me or not. i swear everywhere i turn someone has something to say and i dont wanna hear it anymore. i always feel like such a Bitch when i stand up for myself but its better than feeling like a loser and letting everyone walk all over me…
Creativity vs. Limits
In this world your told that creativity is golden, you should always be yourself, and originality makes you better. In this world people also make fun of those who are different from themselves. Why do we as human beings create limits for our creativity? the whole point behind imagination is that its limitless, so y put a limit on it? they say humans only use 10% of their brain power. i believe we only use 10% because we only allow ourselves to use 10%. if we lose the fear of thinking not only out of the box but out of universe then we would just more of our brains. I dont fear the thoughts that run thru my mind, im afraid of what people will think of me if i vocalize them. Death always dwells in my brain. My mind is morbid. I love thinking past the weather and moving straight to the stars but because of human kinds limits im too afraid to share my thoughts with others. i often say im weird but in reality im just like everyone else, i want to be accepted and loved for exactly who i am.
“My Life”
Lately Ive been having trouble referring to “my” life as mine. It seems as if the life i live isn’t mine, i don’t do what i want to do. i don’t see the things i want to see. i hear people say all the time thank god for another day but i don’t feel like i should be thankful. the way i think seems to be the exact opposite of what others think. if they think about going up i think about going down, and its been that way since i was little. i guess if i could consider “my” life actually mine i would be thankful for life but right now id rather give my live to someone who truly deserves to have life. i don’t see whats so marvelous about life in the world but then again i don’t see the light fluffy side of life i only see the deep dark underbelly most people try to avoid. it also seems like if i have people in “my” life it isn’t mine but if i close everyone out of “my” life it belongs to me but i have no1 to share anything with. i hate to be the person that complains and bothers everyone all the time, but i just want answers. i feel like the more i wanna know/understand the more people turn away from me as if to say they want no part in my confusion. ei seem so put together toward other people and them seem so put together in my eyes as-well i guess inside were all a bit broken…
Shadow
I Feel like my existence has made this world worse. I feel like the person that people look right past. I feel like a shadow, no1 looks at a shadow for long. they see the darkness on the ground and keep walking. people walk all over shadows and use them to play tricks on others. they also manipulate them for entertainment. Ive noticed things like that in my life. this is why my twitter name is @TheLivingShadow it is because i feel like a shadow only i live. we of course think of shadows as things that aren’t alive, they are just an absence of light in our minds. in the darkness no1 misses a shadow but in the light if i shadow doesn’t appear we become afraid. i feel like i let everyone down including myself although i let myself down along time ago. i fear people knowing all that goes on inside my brain because everyone who gets even a glimpse runs away and never looks back. this sounds depressing i know but its what i deal with everyday its the truth, its how i feel. i feel so alone all the time even with loving people around, granted i don’t feel as alone but i still do feel alone. no1 knows whats its like to be me because i am the only me and i don’t expect any1 to understand. I’m writing this because my feelings are eating me alive. its the reason i cant go to a school. there’s so many emotions and thoughts running around i cant function at my full potential. i don’t see a successful future for myself and i think that’s because i have grow so much as a person b4 i can really be successful at anything but at the same time it seems no1 supports inner growth. all my life every1 has told me what to do and i felt powerless in my live. like a car going where ever the current driver wanted me to go. the 1 time i make a choice that i feel is right everyone else feels is wrong and their doubt gives me doubt as well. i don’t consider myself to be a “normal” or “typical” person because i don’t think or feel like 1. i wish i could be 1 day in and day out but i think every time i wish to think more like a “regular” person the more insane i get. insanity is heavily frowned upon unless you do something productive with it and i frankly don’t have the skills to make my insanity smiled upon. i admire people like Lady Gaga who have used their insanity to benefit themselves and i only wish i could do the same. i guess my real question is if a car steers itself where does it go?
I wrote a rap today >.<
Isn’t life today just great
With so many going crazy
and spreading hate
Well I got to thinking
If they can get away with spreading hate then
why can’t I?
There’s alotta hate built up
inside this guy
Let me tell you what I hate
I hate it when people lie
And when people tell me
the limit is the sky
Um no bitch I have no limits
Ima do whatever the fuck I want to
And leave the limits to you
I hate when people disagree with me
We all have our opinions
But you don’t have to get mad at me
Just cuz I have 1 that’s different
I hate when people leave me
Just cuz I’m not who they want me to be
Bitch I’m me
I ain’t changing for you
I’ll only change if I want to
Not if you want me to
I hate when I find someone I like
I mean really really like
And just when im about to make a move they walk outta my life
It’s just like no don’t leave me here
With nuthin to hold but my Teddy bear
Your supposed to stay here with me
Live in my house for free
Marry me and be happy for eternity
I hate when i look in my wallet and there’s no green to be seen
What the fuck is that?!
I still got like 20 things buy
I knew I shouldn’t have given money to that homeless guy
I hate when I walk in the mall
And all I see is skinny bitchs
all perky and tall
I walk in the store and
everything my size has disappeared
How the fuck did they know that I was coming here
Lady Gaga vs. Beyonce
im tired of feeling like i have to choose between them and hear horrible stuff about 1 from fans of the other…i love both for different reasons obviously but i still love both. they are both very talented to me 
Dead End
I feel like My life is a maze and no matter what I do I end up at this suicide dead end. I may leave the dead end turn left right walk the maze but not to long after I leave the dead end I’m there again. So I feel like I can’t ecsape the maze by myself but I can’t find any1 who wants to help me solve this thing and find happiness.
Y I Have Writers Block
I found out the reason I have writers block is because my songs come from my heart and lately my heart hasn’t been in it but the good news is I started 2 more songs today and I feel pretty alright. Also my therapist conviced me to write the book I was thinking about writing. I guess he likes my storyline. I hope other people will.
Writer’s Block
so i started writing song like i said i was going to but the problem is after my 2nd song ive gotten sever writer’s block ive started bout 10 other songs but i jus cant seem to finish them. i trying to do other things to fill my time and then com back to song writing but i gotta say i jus dont feel like writing i feel like theres something blocking my creativity and i dont know what it is. what am i supposed to do??
